No bathroom for you!

Spent the last night at Heidi’s place in San Fran as Luke’s landlord has begun a bathroom remodel that is running behind schedule and therefore made the place unlivable (at least by our current standards—soon to change). Luke and Heidi had to report to the ball & chains this morning and so I set off to do a little solo recon mission around the bay area. As a prolific Chinese buffet connoisseur and having studied under legendary binge-eater and “put’em outta business” Matthew Kopp, my natural first destination in Oakland was Chinatown. Of course I didn’t come across any buffets but I was still able to fulfill my lust for of-questionable-origin food. As I traveled around Chinatown I became aware of a disturbing phenomenon that is sure to impede my life for the reminder of this trip: The concept of “restrooms for customers only,” which I once regarded as an effective anti-vagrancy tactic by businesses, is soon to make my life a little more complicated and discomforting as I cannot afford to pay for something every time I need to use the john. When you have a house and/or a job in which you can use the bathroom anytime without thought, life is good. And so here begins my life “operating in the gray.” My skills as a pretend customer/bathroom user are sure to improve and if not I will have to perfect my pretend to view scenery/take a piss in the bushes procedure. Regardless, this phenomenon reiterates the point that maintaining a well kept appearance (i.e. shaving and the like) will probably repay me dividends in the form of bathroom breaks and lack of suspicious looks my way. As so here is the moral of the story---don’t call the police when you see a man peeing in the bushes in a crowded urban area-because it could be good ole’ Brian.

Another point of note: So far my blog entries are frequent and more expanded now as I still have my laptop (soon to be shipped home before my international departure). My future correspondence on the road will be limited by sporadic and costly internet rental. However, due to a recent generous endowment by an un-named philanthropist (Mark Schloegel) this future correspondence has been sponsored—at least for several months. As such, all future toasts on the road will be drunk in Mark’s name. Want to attain the exalted status held by Mark?-email me about sponsorship or talk to my Kansas City financial liaison Adam Bone.

Keeping it real in ’08,
Q